Laugh it Off

An old tannie has a heart attack, gets taken to the hospital, and has a near-death experience while she is on the operating table. She checks God at the Pearly Gates and asks if her life is klaar. He tunes her nooit, that she’s got another 30 years to live. When she recovers she decides to have a complete makeover: facelift, boob job, tummy tuck, alles. She skeems if she’s got another 30 years to live, she may as well go big. When the doctors are finished with her makeover, she walks out of the hospital and gets run over by a bus. She goes back up to heaven and says to God, “You said I had another 30 years to live!?!” To which God replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.

This week Jou Ma se Purse looks at the hectic issue of identity, and identity theft, as we answer the call for help from Luthando Ndlela. Earlier this year Mr Ndlela mistakenly left his ID book at a phone booth at the Site ‘C’ train station in  Khayelitsha. He had taken his ID book with him to apply for a new job. It was only later, when he needed it to sign the contract, that he realized that it was gone.

The first thing that you must do when your ID book goes missing is call the South African Fraud Prevention Services (SAFPS) on 0860 101 248.

The SAFPS is a non-profit organization that then enters your ID number into their database and distributes it to all the banks, major retailers, micro lenders, and credit bureaus. This is so as to prevent financial fraud, which is big business as it turns out. Mr Cunningham, head of the SAFPS told Jou Ma se Purse that identity fraud has cost SA businesses over R1.1 billion in 2008 alone! It also costs the unlucky ouen who has had his ID book stolen a lot of troubles too, as Mr Ndlela found out…

A few months after he lost his ID, Mr Ndlela went looking for a loan. To his horror he found out that a R50 000 account had been opened in his name at JDG shops, as well as an account of R1700 at Edgars! He then reported his lost ID to the police and they gave him a case number and an affadavit, which is about as helpful as a pat on the back when you are the victim of identity theft and suddenly have huge debt against your name. Even a hug from a police officer would feel better than getting a case number.

The value of identity, knowing who you are, is that it gives you a sense of purpose. I remember how proud I felt when I turned 18 and could show off my ID to bouncers at clubs. Of course, a drunk 18 year-old is full of purpose! Same with whipping out my driver’s license the first time the cops pulled me over: there is something really satisfying about having an identity in the new South Africa; being able to walk or drive the streets in the land of Madiba with your ID book in your pocket to prove that this is your country. Nowadays your purpose has to be guarding your ID with your life. You have to keep it locked up at home and only take it out with you when you absolutely need to.

Even when you die though, you might still become a victim, as the syndicates  are using informants at funeral homes and the morgue to let them know about unidentified or unclaimed bodies. First they steal an identity, then they get their ‘runners’ to take out a policy. Once they have a body, they declare the person dead and sommer claim the money. Because of HIV and AIDS these morally corrupt criminals are exploiting the huge number of life and funeral policies being taken out by honest folk just looking for security.

We can’t just blame the syndicates though. We can also blame our own government! Over the past 18 months the new Department of Home Affairs Director-General Mavuso Msimang has arrested, fired or suspended hundreds of officials in his department for stealing identity documents and passports and selling them to foreigners. Even though the new Sheriff at Home Affairs must be commended for rooting out corruption in his department, his zero-tolerance approach to crime might soon find him without any staff!

Lastly, if you don’t want to have yourself to blame when you find yourself without ID, in debt, and having to prove who you really are, here are some tips from Jou Ma se Purse:

• Don’t give out your personal details online, over the phone, and don’t put them up on social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace.
• Tear up any papers you have with your sensitive financial information on them, rather than just throwing them away.
• Don’t carry your ID book or any extra credit cards on you when you know you won’t be needing them – rather keep them stored safe at home.

To register with the South African Fraud Prevention Service, call 0860 101 248 or e-mail safps@safps.org.za. If you know of anyone involved in identity theft, call the Anti-Corruption Hotline on 0800 701 701.