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On behalf of Caster, I say: “Fuck you”

14 September 09 Categories: Bartlett

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Bartlett, close friend to Caster, writes an open letter to the media.

What would you do if you were Caster Semenya?

Wanna know what I would do?

I would call a press conference…

A big gnarly press conference. I would make sure that all the newspapers and news channels were present.

Fifteen minutes before the press conference I would suck a Strepsil (probably an orange flavoured one. The orange ones are damn delicious). That way my throat would be nice and clear. 

Upon walking out in front of the microphone I would give a good solid “Ahem” just to make sure that my throat really was nice and clear.

I would check the microphone and make sure that the crowd could hear me properly.

I would then read the following speech:

 

“Dearest Aunty the IAAF,

You guys are pretty shit. I think you should all go and eat hermaphrodite dick.

I’ll take your gender test. But you will sooner lick the sweat off of my pussy lips than have me accept your crap award as an honour.

Have a shit day,

Caster

P.S. To all you kind people in the press… Thanks for keeping my ordeal secret. Now I can walk down the street and no one will know what I’ve gone through.”

 To  Caster,  I couldn’t be more proud of you. You are a whole bunch more patient and polite than I am. Plus I hear that you could kick the crap out of me in the 800m.

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7 Comments:

  1. heppie
    Guy McLaren
    14/09/2009 at 9:31 am Permalink

    funny I would not have been as polite as you.

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  2. heppie
    Green
    17/09/2009 at 9:00 am Permalink

    hala,,,man i luv what u guys do with them brands yo.i think its fucking inteligent,,wana buy some but dont know how bcoz im stayin in witbank currently but cant get any access to your stuff,hala back.

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  3. heppie
    Pearson
    02/10/2009 at 7:16 pm Permalink

    Very stupid post, foul language, no humour no point.

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  4. heppie
    Jumara
    12/11/2009 at 5:41 pm Permalink

    distasteful and degrading. its very inhumane to squizze a sense of humour on issues over which no one has control whatsoever rather than on issues of choice.

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  5. heppie
    Thandi
    20/11/2009 at 11:37 am Permalink

    Now THAT is something the press should be told about this Caster case. It aint on what they have put her through.

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  6. heppie
    Mac
    07/02/2010 at 6:55 pm Permalink

    Where can we buy these shirts in joburg? Thanks

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  7. heppie
    mediatainer
    03/04/2010 at 10:58 pm Permalink

    Thumbs up. I love your view hey.

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